Someone's gotta do it

It's human nature to fear our own suffering and to be deeply effected by the suffering of others. There are ethics and laws involved with humans which eliminate our legal ability to end suffering when there is no chance of recovery. We are forced to sit and wait it out. So in the mean time we can peruse the five stages of mourning, justify, reason, process and do our best to understand why what is is and do our best to prepare for the end. It's painful, sad and as onlookers, we feel completely helpless to make anything better. But when it comes to animals the rules are different.

Today, I came out of my apartment building, which sits on a narrow alleyway, and saw a cat laying in the road. At first I thought it was sunning itself but as it lifted it's head and failed to get it's front paws under itself I realized it was terribly hurt. In fact, as I got closer, I could see that it's back had been broken by some sort of accident. I felt nauseous. Devistated. I had to look away. Another cat was circling near by. His friend was dying and he could do nothing about it. I looked around to consider my options. A car drove by and straddled it. A couple scooters swerved around it and an older woman stepped off to the side and I could see her purposefully not look down as she walked by. Now I know the psychology behind mulitple bystanders and I don't play that game anymore. I needed to do something. But what? It was still alive, breathing. I brought the security guy from my building out to see it and he just gestured "a toss to the side," turned around and walked away. Garbage is dealt with very differently here. There are no dumpsters around or outdoor trashcans. And besides, it was still alive. A small sewage river runs along the road but throwing it in didn't seem right either. My roommate and I decided that a plastic bag was a good place to start. I went back up to my apartment to find something to put the cat in and thankfully, by the time I got back, it had died. So now I have this cat in a bag and don't know what to do with it. There is no recycling bin for dead cats. People sort through all the trash for unrecycled material. That would be a cruel surprise for anyone. Compost? Nope. Big body of water? Not even close. I know, I could burn it. But the only place to burn stuff here is for ghost money being offered up to the ancestors. Not for dead cats. So I took a walk to the mountain and hiked up far enough to get away from others. I stood on the edge of a small cliff and dedicated a moment to this cat that no one seemed willing to help. I couldn't litter in the woods so I untied the bag, grabbed the bottom, said a small prayer, closed my eyes and gave it the ol' 1-2-3. I felt bad that I couldn't comfort the cat and tell it the catbulance was on it's way. It surely didn't understand what was going on. And when it did take it's last breaths, it was alone. I know, most of you are saying to yourself, "Darcy, it's just a cat." I know it's just a cat but it was suffering. And suffering is something I have little capacity to deal with. If I was in the states it wouldn't have been any different, I'm sure. What do you do with a dead cat in the middle of a city? Needless to say my day got off to a rough start. Then on my way to the gym I passed a little old man walking a dog. I crouched down to the dog and it came up to me. It was super cute and the old man spoke a bit of English. We had a nice little chat and I got some good lovin' from the dog. All's well that ends well.